AT&T HAS NOTHING ON OUR RELATIONSHIP “Dealing with long distance”

I never plan on getting too personal on this blog when it comes to my love life. I like my privacy and such. All that said…There will be times where I talk about my relationship on here.  And this my good people, is one of those times. Let me share.

I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man with whom I spent quite some time “courting”. Yes, I said C-O-U-R-T-I-N-G….Not to be mistaken with “dating”. There’s a BIG difference. But that’s for another post. The attention and care we’ve given to actually getting to know one another is almost antique. They just don’t make relationships like this anymore. I’m not bragging- It was just our personal preference to do it that way. To each his own…To. Each. His. Own.

Now of course the more we got to know one another (and didn’t want to run in the opposite direction), the more apparent it became that this was exactly where we wanted to be. Fast forward through almost six months of courting and we were officially in a relationship. So where is this going you might ask? Well I’m getting to that. You see we’re both in that stage of life that is chalk-full of uncertainty. And we discussed this fact before we even entered the relationship. We’re in our mid-twenties and trying to find our place in the world, changing careers and possibly…locations. Both of us are open to living in a vast number of places. This means there’s a good chance we’ll end up in different states. Uh oh. Yeah, that’s what she said…

So how do you maintain a relationship that’s long distance? We have no right (and frankly it would be stupid) to make decisions based off of the desire to live near one another. We both need to establish ourselves and we’ll have to jump at all opportunities to do that- No matter where they are. Now I’m not the type of woman who has always been an advocate of long distant relationships. My way of thinking was:

a.)    We’re in a relationship, so I’d like to see/touch/smell you. That last one sounds creepy when you type it out, but I just love a man who smells good. Don’t judge me.

b.)    What if I meet “The One” (which I guess would mean you’re not…ouch) and I can’t be with them because I’m with you? I’m not a cheatin’ kinda gal, so if that ever happened to me- There just went the love of my life.

c.)     What if I get so discouraged by the distance that I break up with you and then get in a relationship with someone who can’t compare? I just gave up Mr. Perfect for Mr. Proximity!

Now granted, those are all legitimate concerns. Or at least they were. Now the situation is completely different and all preconceived notions have gone out the window because of love. And when you love someone things change. You change. I want to make it work if we happen to make this love thang long distance. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think that it’s going to be challenging. At the moment we live less than an hour away from each other, but with our busy schedules we see each other a mere once a week! How do we do weeks or months at a time?! Me no know. However, what I do know is love conquers all. So that’s where I’ve decided to put my faith- in love. No matter the distance.

So have you ever been in a long distance relationship? How did you make it work? Are you still together? Share your story!

-J.Clarice

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